I have met Raluca offline only once so far, in 2023, at the excellently organized event, Ladies of Haute Culture. Since then, however, we have been communicating online, and who knows, one day we might have a project together.
Raluca has been living in Spain for the last 6 months, a country I love and have been connected to since 2000 when I spent a semester in Zaragoza as an Erasmus student.
I invited Raluca to inspire us this fall with her answers to the questions below.
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What are the three important moments in your life that you would stop at to tell us who you are?
1. My parents divorced when I was six years old. Even though it was very painful at the time, it was one of the best experiences of my life. Thanks to my mother and her decision not to continue a marriage that wasn't working and that jeopardised her integrity as a woman, I learnt that the only way to be in a relationship—marital or not—is not to compromise myself, not to accept anything less than I deserve. I also pass this lesson on to my daughter.
2. The day my husband and I decided to be together and build this beautiful relationship. This bond we have had since I was 18 years old helped me to become the woman I am today.
3. The year we moved to Cognac, France, and we experienced our first year abroad. This experience gave me the courage to live my life to its fullest.
What has driven you to get to where you are now?
The belief that I must prove I am not stupid, that I can achieve many things in life, and that I can be the best at what I do drove me for many years. Later, when I was 29 years old, during one of the most fulfilling periods of my life, I realised that this belief was deeply flawed. It was a bit too late because I was already dealing with severe burnout and depression.
What is driving me now to pursue my passions, my work, and my life? I am driven by the belief that I deserve to be happy and at ease with who I am, as well as the responsibility I have towards my daughter, whom I want to teach to value herself and to honour life.
If you met yourself when you were just five years old, what advice would you give yourself for a harmonious path through life?
1. Self-confidence changes everything in life.
2. It doesn't have to be difficult to achieve in order for you to feel proud of yourself and worthy.
3. Surround yourself with kind, creative, smart people who are willing to lift you up rather than bring your wings down.
How do you define courage?
To me, courage is the true essence of vulnerability. Being courageous necessitates a deep understanding of oneself and getting through the dark first so that you can experience the light. Many people think that jumping with the parachute requires courage. I believe that courage is the ability to recognise and accept your deepest flaws. And decide not to use them to harm others but to make the best of your life despite having these negative sides.
How do you maintain your motivation in difficult times?
I don't. Even if I have healed from my burnout and depression (it took me 6 years), I am still dealing with anxiety. I have days when I barely get out of bed, and I allow myself to feel that way for a few days. I am not suppressing my bad moods and thoughts. I stay with them, acknowledge them, and then I move on.
I love life, I love the people I have in my life, and I love myself. This is how I eventually move on.
What do you consider to be the most important achievements in your life so far?
The healthy relationship I have with my husband, the way I've chosen to live my life over the past six years—only according to my values and feelings, the ability to let go of things, people, and objects, the ability to forgive so that I can live my life with peace of soul, the ability to provide my daughter with a life that makes her laugh every single day, and the ability to watch her grow up to be a kind human being.
What emotions and colors would you use if you had to describe yourself in this way?
I often laugh with my best friend, telling her that I am a happy person, but with anxiety. For too many years, my favourite colours were black and grey. Now it's red. The change is obvious, I think.
If you were to look at life as a journey, where do you think you are on this path?
I like to believe that I am somewhere in the middle because I've learned so many things over the years, but from other points of view, now, at almost 37 years old, I feel the best I've ever felt, like I'm living a new beginning. I have a lot of things I want to accomplish, but I want to do them with peace, serenity, balance, and, most importantly, without the need to prove anything to others.
I encourage you to follow her on Instagram. You will discover a world of beautiful and mindful living with glimmers of joy and not only.